Thurs. Dec. 28 and Sunday Dec. 31

We never saw David Sedaris in "The Santaland Diaries," his wry sardonic take on his experiences as a department store Santa's helper. But we saw Bostonian John Kuntz play Crumpet - yes, that's the elf's name - several years ago, and let's say the man was born to it. All the despair, bitchiness, wit, false cheer, seasonal mean-ness and hilarity is captured in this one-man play, which is up at the New Rep Downstage - a 90-capacity black box - from Wed. Dec. 20 through Sunday Dec. 31. Here's the rub: Only three shows are available as we write, Thursday Dec. 28 at 10 p.m. and Sunday Dec. 31 at 3 and 7 p.m. Tickets are $25.

 200 Dexter Ave., Watertown, 617-923-8487 newrep.org