Sun. April 19

Dame Edna – the ageless, sharp-tounged, loquacious houswife/megastar from Australia – is once again bringing her act to Boston. She’s the creation of writer/actor Barry Humphries and she’s been at it for decades, never losing her charm, her appeal to her audience of people she calls “possums.”  Dame Edna can be hilarious, mortifying (if she engages you in discussion, watch out!), and, yet, charming. She’ll have lilac covered hair and will pass out gladiolas. She will take you into a very different land of “interactive” theater. I had a Back Talk story in the Boston Phoenix last week and it's online at www.thephoenix.com. Check it out. They assigned the piece and got the cream of the crop. But, really, it’s quite a rich crop. So what follows are out-takes we couldn’t get in the 825-word piece … Be prepared she does flit from topic to topic … And she’s at the Colonial Theatre with four shows ending today Sunday April 19.

Hello, Edna.
How are things in Boston? I’m looking forward to going there because I’ve always had a nice time here. I’ve been in three different theatres in Boston. The Colonial, oh, that’s beautiful! it’s so attractive. It’s a miracle it’s still there because we Australians have the American habit of tearing it down, well, if it’s any good and replacing it with some miserable.
How’s your Big Dig going?
Done. There was quite a mess, and a woman driver was killed by a chunk of concrete that crashed down.
Were the contractors cutting corners? Is it on the whole working? You did go through a lot. The thing is, the city will be lovely with less traffic, but traffic is like a horrible cancer, it grows.
How did this tour, “Your First Last Tour” come about?
I have had an incredible ten years in America. Ten years ago, Jim, I did a show in London that was a bit ambitious. It was a musical, it was very elaborate, cast of thousands. Only when we got to the dress rehearsal did I realize we would never ever break even. It couldn’t. And I felt a certain despondency and I felt I’d reached a watershed, where, next I called Joan Rivers, a close friend, and I said, “Joan, I’m having a bit of a crisis here” and she said “Go to America.” I said, “I don’t know, America is regarded as the graveyard of British comedy.” She said, “You’re not British, you’re Australian.”  But I love your [American]  television programs. She said “Do two weeks in San Francisco.” So I booked a theater for two weeks, I ran for four months. She said it’s a nice little town and has a lovely little theater which I enjoyed very much. I went for four months, I went to Broadway, I got the Tony award and I haven’t stopped touring America since. I’ve been everywhere. Well, you can’t go everywhere. There are cities after cities you can miss. In America, it goes on forever. Apart from which, I am discovering this country. It’s one of the best-kept secrets in the world, as a tourist opportunity. Particularly as the dollar is so accommodating. But I am not here to gloat. The after-effects of the recession will continue but I think in times like this, well, the vaudeville. … I really have decided that I am a vaudeville person. And I think it’s a form of theater which is really absent elsewhere. You and your wife, Roza, love going to the theater? May I refer to your wife so intimately? Indeed, she is adorable. She is absolutely adorable. And those cats of yours are sweet. How is Trevor by the way? Him and Lucy as well?
Hmm, how do you know so much about me, my cats, my wife?
 I would not insult a senior journalist without doing a little bit of homework. Having grown up in Maine, you have that lovely something  … very lovely about you. You’ve been in Boston 20 years now? You were the music writer for the Globe, I think I read you quite frequently. I’ve always thought you were charming. You have very good book stores there. The used book stores are so lovely.
Well, we have some, but there’s a lot of chains. The great Victor Hugo used book store closed.
Victor Hugo closed? (Sigh) Well, where do people go? They originally had French books there and then they widened their taste. When Barry was there last I think he gave a talk at Harvard. It’s such a lovely city, compared with well, Detroit for example. Poor old Detroit, it’s such a sad case. The decline in some great American cities is so upsetting. But I’m bringing a very special message of hope and joy and it’s going to be my last in America. I do feel touring and being away so often is difficult. My family has grown up and my husband has passed on, and I have no intention of remarrying.  Even a Boston marriage, which is a play by David Mamet, and unfortunately it was about women who like women. I would say it was unsavory. Is David Mamet from Boston?
I believe he used to live nearby in Newton.
I’ve seen him there. Does he still keep a house? He always comes to see me. There are little restaurants I like in Boston.
You’ve done well, I assume, but has the recession hit you? You didn’t invest with Madoff by any chance did you?
No! I would never have given any money to that fellow. But I met a lot of people, particularly in Florida, who I’m afraid could be described as friends of Bernie, poor little things. There are two forms of Palm Beach chic. One is to say we only lost $20 million is the other is to say they got out in time. Neither are true. I gamble only on my own talent. I’m not having a big elaborate set, I’m not having a lot of dancers. It’s me, piano, singing, lovely clothes, gladiolas. 
I know you did a controversial article when you were a Vanity Fair columnist, writing something about why anyone would need to learn Spanish just to talk to their gardener.
Leaf-blower. Well it did [get me in some hot water.] A person with a sense of humor or a knowledge of satire would appreciate this. But Selma Hayak – the half-Lebanese mono-browed actress was on the cover of that Vanity Fair [that month] and decided she needed a bit of publicity so she rallied a whole lot of leaf blowers and poor old [Vanity Fair editor] Graydon Carter didn’t know how to handle it, so he fired me. He tried explaining the nature of satire, but I think that would have gone right above Selma’s head I’m afraid.
You know she was in the third world recently, seen breast-feeding a hungry child. And it was all over TV and the web.
Well, this is karma isn’t it? She goes to foreign countries and just exposes herself.
Well, she was on a humanitarian mission where there are starving babies.
And plenty of photographers.
Yes, oddly enough. You wouldn’t do that would you?
Oh! Frankly I wouldn’t [think of doing that]. I just adopted a little baby. I talk about this in my show. I don’t actually mention Selma but I’m very entertained by what she’s been reduced to – wrong-headed philanthropy, or self-serving philanthropy. How old are the children? Does she mind if they’re getting on a bit?
I think they’re infants.
I should go to this village, dress up as a little baby, and then halfway through my meal I could put on my glasses, and say “It’s me Selma!”
This tour is a stripped-down affair, I’m told.
I think you’ll find it a rich show. I’m having a better time doing the show, it’s so much fun for me. I’m in my element up there
The word ”love” does get tossed around way too much these days. As does hero. That’s over-used isn’t it?
When an old lady falls into a lake, and a gentleman does what a gentleman would do, it is not being a hero. Someone who is accidentally killed while doing something which is part of their job, isn’t really a hero. But you’ve got to be careful what you say in this country.
What is a hero?
Well, now you’ve got me there.
 In America, it’s often used to describe a quarterback throwing a game winning touchdown pass in the Super Bowl. That would be a hero.
That would be a hero. It is pretty important.
In a sense, your present president is a hero in taking on an impossible task. He has taken on a task like Sisyphus. He’s got a country that was pretty well raped and with his personality he’s managing so far, but he’s not getting the support really from the whole country that he needs now. Because people don’t know how serious the crisis is. And that’s why we need new values. We need to think about we’re grateful for, Jim: What is important? What are our wants? What are our needs? I encourage gratitude in the audience because it’s a g-word and I have a lot of g-spots: gratitude, gladiolia, gynecology, ginseng, green tea.
How about people Twittering and instant messaging each other with “LOL.”
Ugh. Lots of love, which is now universally used, and has absolutely leeched the meaning out of the word. I try to talk it straight in these respects. I don’t say to the audience “I love you,” though I am conscious of a very warm rapport. Which is more important that some than some declaration.