Sat. Feb. 17

We don't think rock 'n' roll is a joke, but we sure like a good rock 'n' roll joke. Like the Stinkin' Lincolns. The Boston-based band plays exactly one show a year - this is their 9th year - and this year they'll be at the Abbey Lounge Sat. Feb. 17. These guys are punk-rock/glam-rock schooled semi-geezers, who will all be doing their best to look like that guy on the five dollar bill. They'll be playing songs by the Sex Pistols, Damned, Cheap Trick, Alice Cooper, AC/DC, Buzzcocks, David Bowie, Dead Boys, New York Dolls and others. For the record, the band is composed of singer Mary Todd Lincoln (aka Todd Spahr, ex Cavedogs), drummer Ringo Lincoln (aka Jim Janota, ex-Bags, Upper Crust), guitarisat Lancelot Lincoln (aka Charles Hanson (Rock Bottom), guitarist Abraham Vigoda Lincoln (aka Johnny Black, Johnny Black Trio) and, of course, bassist Hot Rod Lincoln (aka Joe Klompus, from Kay Hanley's band among others). Opening the night at 9 is Meaty Beefy Big and Bouncy, which you just know covers the Who - that was roughly the title of a Who best-of album years ago. The Other Girls are on at 10 and then it's Lincoln time at 11. Tickets: $9.

3 Beacon St., Somerville (Inman Square), abbeylounge.com

Thurs. Feb. 15

We heard Norman Mailer speak at a lecture once and we were transfixed by this literary lion. This was probably 20 years ago, and, even then, we were thinking Mailer, though pugnacious and combative as always, was in the twilight of his career. Nope. At 83, he's back with "The Castle in the Forest," his first major novel in more than a decade. His job as a novelist this time? Exploring the evil of one Adolf Hitler, who occupies a slightly lower rung in hell than, say, Gary Gilmore. Mailer's narrator is Dieter, a mysterious SS man/devil who takes us back to Hilter's birth. In the New York Times, Lee Siegel writes, "There is no weary celebration of the demonic here, no facile declaration of evil's universal latency ... Mailer has never had sympathy for the Devil, and he has none here." Of course, we wonder if the world needs yet another book about Hitler. But if there's going to be one, why not from Mailer? The guy has earned our respect, attention and ire for half a century. He should do one of those ads for the new AARP that suggest aging is in the mind. Oh, and at 477 pages, this ranks of modest length in Mailer's world. You can hear Mailer read for $3 at Congregational United Church of Christ in Harvard Square Thursday Feb. 15 at 6:30 p.m.

11 Garden St., Cambridge, 617-661-1515 harvardbookstore.com

Thurs. Feb. 15

 Valentine's Day is over; now it's time to get back to real life. Sort of. Spend the day following V-Day with Karl Marx, or least Karl Marx as envisioned by left-wing historian and, yes, longtime JSInk pal, Howard Zinn. (We have the distinct privilege of introducing Zinn to kindred spirit/lefty rocker Billy Bragg some years ago at a Tufts University concert. As the time, Bragg was reading Zinn's "A People's History of the United States," a seminal text that starts with the invasion of the continent that became America. Other people of note have dug the book: Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Eddie Vedder and Red Sox g.m. Theo Epstein.) Zinn wrote "Marx in Soho" about six ago. Trigger? "I think it was the disnitegration of the Soviet Union and the resultng talk of how Marxism is dead and capitalism has triumphed," says Zinn. I thought this needs to be dealt with."

The one-man play has toured the world. Bob Weick, who plays Marx at Jimmy Tingle's Off Broadway, Thursday Feb. 15, has done it for three years.
"Marx lived the latter part of his life in the Soho district of  London," says Zinn, "but I have him being returned by the powers that be, to Soho New York by some bureaucratic error. This gives him an opportunity to comment on what he sees around him in capitalist America today. He wanted to come back because he's been so maligned and the Soviet Union was considered to be his baby, and it wasn't and never was. He wants to straighten people out on the matter. He wants to tell people what the difference is between the Soviet Union and Marxism and show that his ideas are still revelvant regarding his critique of contemporary capitalism."

Wed. Feb. 14

 Is it ever too early to start planning for your Valentine's Day? It's one of those days to relish or dread, isn't it? If you're not coupled, you're in despair. No one loves you or ever will. If you are coupled, you're looking for the best possible thing you could do. And what if you fall short? Oh, the pressure. Here's one where you cannot go wrong: Drop $160 (that's for both of you!) at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum for "A Venetian Valentine." You get: Live jazz in the flowering courtyard and cocktails and hors d'oeuvres in the cloisters. And, all that art. It's truly a romantic, sophisticated and inspiring setting. And did we mention ... your admission also gives you a year's pass to the place those friggin' art thieves made famous around the world in March of 1990. Note: Do not try stealing any art. We've been to the Gardner, thought about it (only theorhetically, mind you) and said, "This place is now the most secure museum in the world. We'd be pinched in an instant." Maybe it isn't, but we still say you should stick to the romance, appreciate the art and leave it on the darn walls where it belongs. How's that for a controversial stance? From 6-9 p.m on Wednesday February 14 (of course).
200 The Fenway, 617-566-5643 gardnermuseum.org